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When my daughter was born, I must admit there was a distinctly different feeling to it. Part of me was thrilled, but part of me was unsure of how to deal with a gender I still couldn’t quite understand.
When my son was born, there was a clear sense that this was territory that I knew: there will be wrestling, playing ball together, playing with cars and, he has a penis! There was a sense of security from all of this and a deep sense of knowing.
Raising a daughter creates different issues for many fathers; it is even more challenging considering the cultural landscape that exists today.
To better understand these issues, it is helpful to explore the expectations of girls that we have as fathers, many of which may be expectations handed down from our own fathers.
Some men feel a strong need to control their daughters, and expect them to act “nice” at all times.
Others shower their daughters with all of the gifts and "things" that they’ll ever need, seeing them as weaker than boys (therefore not encouraging strength and discipline in them).
It’s easy for fathers to treat their sons and daughters differently. They can be rough-and-tumble with their sons…but treat their daughters with kid gloves. This opportunity to wrestle or to play physically with your daughters is extremely important, because it shows them that you believe they are capable enough to handle it. (If your daughter is eighteen, it’s probably not a good idea to start now.)
The cultural messages we get are that girls and young women are valued for being beautiful, thin, talented, etc. Girls should also be happy, agreeable and eager to please. This cultural backdrop may be partly responsible for the alarming statistics concerning rates of depression, anorexia, bulimia, and other disorders for girls when they are approaching or have entered their teen years.
So how can fathers overcome some of these Barriers and help create daughters who become strong, secure women?
If fathers want their daughters to grow up to be strong and secure women, it is absolutely essential that they like women and that they respect them.
No matter how negative and pervasive the cultural messages are, your daughter’s self-esteem is greatly impacted by your attitude. If fathers think that women are weaker and need protection, they will tend to raise daughters who are weak and dependent.
To a significant degree, your daughter’s success in life and in love is in your hands.
As fathers go through the process of raising daughters, they may have to question everything they thought they knew about the sexes and the difference between men and women. How is it that you learn about these things?
You learn by allowing your daughters to teach you about them every day. You learn by not attempting to control or protect your daughters. You learn by opening up your hearts, and not having the answers all of the time for your daughters (or your sons).
If you can allow your daughters to enjoy being female as much as you enjoy being male, you’ve taken a big first step. If you can also allow your daughter to make most of her own decisions, you will probably enjoy a great relationship with her. You will also know a lot more about women than you did before.
Here are some action points for fathers with their daughters:
• Fully explore your expectations for your daughter. See where you may be too controlling in her life, or are overly protecting her.
• Create special times with your daughter each week, one-on-one, when you can ask her questions about her life and become more fully aware of who she is. Make this time sacred and let her know it’s important to you.
• Expect your daughter to be strong and competent; she’ll know that you do and will respond accordingly.
• If your daughter is a teen-ager or close to it, explore your attitude about your daughter’s sexuality; many fathers are uncomfortable with this and leave their daughters emotionally when they need them the most.
• Be a great model for how men treat women in your relationship with your wife.
• Talk to other fathers who have had daughters, and find out how they have dealt with the challenges of raising a daughter.
Your daughter is depending on your healthy attitude to help her to navigate a culture that is not always positive for girls.
Take a step back and examine your view towards women and girls. Are there changes you want to make?
Your daughter will help you to make those changes if you’ll just listen.
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One of the problems with benign prostatic hypertrophy (an enlargement of the prostate which affects the majority of men above the age of 60) is that the symptoms can vary widely from one person to the next and it can be difficult to assess the degree of treatment required, or indeed whether treatment is needed at all.
To assist in this assessment the American Urological Association has designed a short questionnaire consisting of just seven questions. For the first six questions you allocate yourself a score according to your answers as follows:
0 points - not at all. 1 point - less than 1 time in 5. 2 points - less than half the time. 3 points - about half the time. 4 points - more than half the time. 5 points - almost always.
The questions, which apply to the previous period of one month, are:
How often have you experienced a sensation of not emptying your bladder after urinating? How often have you had to urinate less than two hours after your previous urination? How often have you stopped and started again several times during urination? How often have you experienced an urgent need to urinate and found it difficult to hold on? How often have you experienced a weak flow of urine? How often have you felt the need to urinate but have had to strain to begin urination?
For the final question, which also applies to the previous month, you simply allocate a point score equal to your answer (up to a maximum of 5). So, if your answer is twice you allocate 2 points and if your answer is four times you give yourself 4 points. The question is:
On average, how many times have you had to get up during the night to urinate?
Once you have completed the questionnaire and allocated a points score to each answer you then total up your score, which will fall somewhere between 0 and 35. The higher your score the more severe your symptoms and the greater your need for treatment. In general, a score of 7 or less would indicate that your condition does not warrant treatment at this time.
It should be stressed that this test is just one test among several that your doctor may use to assess whether you are suffering from benign prostatic hypertrophy and, if so, what treatment would be appropriate. It is not designed to be used in isolation or for self-diagnosis.
If you are experiencing problems and suspect that you may be suffering from benign prostatic hypertrophy then you should consult your doctor.
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Have you ever seen the effects of asbestosis, mesothelioma, or any of the various asbestos-related cancers that have killed or destroyed the livelihood of a close fried or relative? Believe me, some very powerful and influential figures have succumbed to these illnesses, so it is not just confined to manual workers working in factories or building sites where asbestos was involved.
As early as 1898 the then Chief inspector of Factories in The United Kingdom in his report to Parliament submitted in his report regarding the ‘evil effects of asbestos dust.’ He described it even all those years ago as having a sharp, glass like nature, very susceptible to disintegrating into minute particles, which then very easily permeated every nook and cranny in a building, or even a district where such a product was in use.
Litigation due to industrial exposure to asbestos remains the longest, most expensive joint claim in the world, with over 6,000 defendants, and at the latest count well over 600,000 claimants. With the current rate of detection of asbestos related diseases set to rise over the next decade, estimates of the litigation costs on the US alone is expected to rise to well over $250 BILLION. You would have thought that with such amounts at stake, anybody still manufacturing products based on asbestos or any asbestos-related products would be taking an enormous financial risk.
In early times items made of asbestos were held in great esteem, especially by Kings and Emperors, and of equal value to gold. Many in fact were cremated in an asbestos shroud, to keep their ashes separate from any other combustible materials. How rash was that! In fact, talking of rashes, although asbestos fibres when coming into contact with the skin causes rashes, there are stories from ancient times that asbestos was actually prescribed for ailments of the skin – especially the itch.
Although there are many forms of asbestos, they all have the same characteristic to a greater or lesser degree, that eventually however they may be packaged up within another material, they will all form asbestos dust particles at some point in their life.
Due to asbestos’s fire-retarding properties, until the late 1980’s there were many applications within public and private buildings where asbestos in one form or another was used. Acoustic ceilings, putty, vinyl floor coverings, fire-retardant fillings, adhesives and ceiling tiles, acoustic curtains in theatres, and in brake disk pads in cars, busses and trains, clutch plates, gaskets, fire blankets – the list is endless, as is the lurking danger.
In fact, many a worker in the American shipyards during the Second Word War were heavily exposed to this asbestos danger, and even some top people were affected and struck down with asbestosis, mesothelioma, or asbestos-induced cancers of some sort.
Now, with many asbestos based products no longer allowed in new construction, there must be thousands upon thousands of sites where asbestos is still lurking, and even demolition and or removal creates its own hazard conditions.
Interestingly, in the interest of ‘profit’ there are still a number of applications where asbestos is still in use, and can even be found in some consumer products, such as talcum powder.
In all, the list of asbestos based products is still scarily quite long.
Asbestos-cement corrugated and flat sheets; asbestos clothing for heat resistant applications, pipe line wraps, roofing felt, and many applications in the auto industry, including automatic transmission system components, clutch plates, friction pads such as disk brake pads and so forth are still being manufactured.
How many of us have smelt the acrid fumes when a train applies it’s brakes in your local station?
Because of all this historical use of asbestos, we are all constantly exposed to certain levels of asbestos dust. These are usually quite low levels (between 0.00001 to 0.0001 fibres per millilitre of air we breathe) with the higher levels predominately in towns and cities. Some drinking water can also contain asbestos fibres from natural sources, but this is usually very closely monitored.
Where asbestos removal takes place, whole buildings have to be hermetically sealed to try and trap the bulk of the dust.
If you have been unfortunate enough to breathe large quantities of asbestos dust, either in a short burst, or over a period of years the effects are usually very much the same.
1. This dust, on the lungs and the membranes inside us, will eventually cause scar like tissues in the lungs, and in the pleural membrane (lining) surrounding the lungs. This ‘asbestosis’ as it is known will usually cause coughing, difficulty in breathing, and sometimes, enlargement of the heart. Asbestosis is very serious, and often results in death. However, it is usually confined to those who worked in the asbestos industry.
2. Lower levels of intake of this deadly dust may cause changes called plaques in the pleural membranes. Effects here are not as serious as with asbestosis, but restricted breathing may still take place.
3. Any irritation of the lungs, or any other membrane in the body will have a marked increase in the formation of cancers, and lung cancer and mesothelioma, which is a cancer of the thin lining (pleural membrane) surrounding the lungs is a well-know side effect of breathing asbestos dust.
4. Children are particularly at risk, as how many of them may play around old buildings, and take great pleasure in smashing up old sheets of asbestos, not realising that they are really playing with something more deadly than an unexploded time-bomb.
As a successful property renovator, and provider of buildings for my property club members, asbestos is of a very serious concern to me.
In all, asbestos, although having served mankind “Faithfully?’ down throughout the ages, has now been identified as the spectre of danger that it presents, but unfortunately we have been mining the stuff for centuries, so it will not go away quietly, and without a fight.
Hence the massive levels of lawsuits piling up surrounding all forms of asbestos.
Copyright 2006 Geoff Morris
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Toys aren’t just for kids anymore. And with the vast array of sex toys that are being made and created for adults, there’s no reason for you to not find something that pleases you—in so very many ways.
Talking about sex
The trick with talking about sex and things that you’d like to do in order to improve your sex life is to not bring it up right after or right before you’re actually doing the ‘deed.’
You want to find a time that’s outside of the bedroom and unrushed. Talk in a secluded corner of a restaurant or in your kitchen. Stay out of the bedroom for the moment. You don’t want to cause any undue pressure and scare him or her away.
Be honest and open about what you’ve been thinking about. Are you thinking about trying some new toys in general or do you want to share some finds with your partner? Talk about the benefits that you’ve discovered, and see what their feelings are as well. They may be perfectly open to trying something new.
But if they aren’t, then you may want to avoid putting any pressure on them. See if you can discuss it further down the road, and let them initiate anything further.
When they’ve said yes
When your partner has agreed to try some things out, don’t jump up and down (wait until they’re gone for that), but start the conversation about things that sound like fun.
Many times, going onto an Internet site together is the best way to look without pressure or embarrassment. Not that there’s any reason for you to be embarrassed, but someone who is new can feel very vulnerable and timid. The anonymity of online can be very helpful. There are also user reviews many times as well as pictures.
There are many websites on the web to get you started on the road to pleasure. Look for the REAL user reviews as well as the great pictures. You’ll be sure to see something that you like, or something you’d like to try out. With the clear menus and thousands upon thousands of options, you’re sure to be caught looking for hours.
Online shopping gives you anonymity and discreetness. And without a salesperson or clerk looking over your shoulder, you can take your time and really pick out what you want. There’s no one trying to force you into buying something because they need a commission.
Starting off
One of the first forays into sex toys is usually a vibrator or dildo for a woman. Many women can not climax with just penetration or they need something to fill up the lonely days. Vibrators are terrific because not only can they stimulate vaginally, but they can also be used on the clitoris as well.
And although it seems like there aren’t as many toys for men, you just have to look a little harder. Why not try out a penis pump or a penis ring? Both of these can create an overwhelming sensation in the sensitive penis tip. Rings in general work by creating a sense of sensory deprivation, so that the man can ‘last longer’ until the opportune moment.
These can be especially difficult to purchase in person, especially if you’re a newbie. Try an online site to scope out the choices before settling on one penis toy or another.
A little more advanced
If you’re tried the vibrators and the penis toys, then you’re ready to venture into other areas. Anal play is something that many couples would like to try, but they’re not quite sure how to begin.
Anal beads can be a great way to give an added sense of stimulation during any other sexual acts. Of course, dildos and vibrators can also be used for this purpose, but these can be overly large and difficult for the beginner. Start off small and use a lot of lubricant to help with the beginning stages.
Tying it all up
And of course, there are always the non-mechanical toys for couples. Bondage play is a popular way to heighten the orgasm experience. By restraining one of the members of the couple, the other can taunt for hours if they want to.
With bondage however, you will want to start simple and work your way to more advanced restraint applications.
You might like to try a blindfold ,arm guards, collar and leash play or some effective looking accessories to make you look AND feel the part!
When it comes to toys, your imagination is your best guide. Talk about your fantasies and see how you might be able to make them come true. And do a little online voyeurism, who knows where that will lead when you’re done shopping?
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Whenever we read the great tales of ghosts and goblins, of gods and their helpers, of priests, lore, and magic, we are always struck with the idea that these spirits have emotions, that they are suffering from human frailties, and that they have a will power. The origin of the idea of the soul, of the spirits and the gods, all comes from the most human desire: immortality, freedom from fear of death. As it so happens to be natural, humans desire to avoid pain, suffering, misery, and death. The idea that death or the end of life is not really the end of life, and that a misery-less future awaits those who die, this idea is a relatively attractive one. With an afterlife, there is no death, so it is easy to see why one might enjoy such a theory, regardless of the lack of any evidence whatsoever. Since this idea in an afterlife flourishes considerably, there is are other popular ideas about spirits, souls, and other items that exist in this afterlife theory.
Our memories, our experiences, our thoughts, ideas, notions, character, attitude, and feelings are all stored within the mind. Science, or at least all honest investigative studies, would tell us that our mind is located within the physical brain of the body. So far, no other theory has come up with any verifiable evidence to the contrary. Another theory, with much less evidence, does exist. It is the idea that the mind is a part of the soul -- that when the body dies, the mind leaves the body with the soul. Some individuals have offered evidence on behalf of such a trite idea. They have argued that since it is a part of the spiritual realm, one which tools and devices and technology cannot reach nor see, that it is out of their jurisdiction of judgment. An interesting idea, I admit. One might as well claim that they have invented, discovered, or uncovered something that is wonderful and beautiful, but that is completely unsensible by human senses. (i.e. we might have a tourist trap with the holy grail, only to find a plaque "If you have sinned, you cannot see or feel it, but you must believe it is there.")
One might be so educated and thoughtful enough to feel that the theory of a soul is so discredited, that it needs no further examination; it becomes a moot point. However, there are some things in this field that might want to be considered, just in a hypothetical point of view at most. So it indeed happens that every folk story and every old religion regards spirits as vibrant and powerful beings. In Greek mythology, the gods often came down from their clouds, to mate with earthlings, or kill them, or have dealings with them. In the stories of these gods, they all seem to have the exact same characteristics of any human being. They have desires, wants, fears, hopes, beliefs. They react to their environment. When they are informed that their plans have failed, they react with disappointment, and maybe rage or violence. When they are informed that their plans have succeeded, they react with happiness, and maybe feasting or gloating. The gods are essentially the most human of any theoretical being, and this is no surprise when we think of their creator.
I cannot, for the life of me, suppose any idea or theory as to why any of the gods are endowed with desires or wants anyway. When I think of the origin of such psychological phenomena in humans, or any other organism, my question is immediately answered. Humans are endowed with a complex brain because it is necessary towards survival. The same can be argued for any other living creature. Desire motivates, it creates movement. When a predator, either a crocodile or a lion or any other for that matter, is hungry, it hunts to satisfy its desire. In this situation, the component of the brain that creates desire and want, especially for satisfying hunger, this component is essential. Those predators that were born without this capability could not hunt or eat as effectively, and could not fight for breeding rights very well either, since they could not want them. And, so, it would die, leaving no offspring, leaving no other organisms on this planet with their DNA -- DNA which contains a lack of desire. We can apply this to other organisms, too. Prey that is born without a desire to flee its natural predator, for example, will not live long enough to reproduce. The same can be said of prey that does not want to eat to satisfy its hunger, either. It will waste away to weakness and then be taken by its predator.
Desire definitely plays a strong and important role in the psyche of all consciousness-endowed organisms. However, it is not the only important part of consciousness. For example, there is also pain, the physical affliction, or misery, the mental affliction. An animal can suffer, and it is this suffering that they will forever be afraid of. Their fear and their suffering gives them something to desire: happiness and security. Without pain, an organism will not react negatively to another trying to kill it -- at least, if instincts were gone as well. Without happiness, an animal would not know whether it was doing something right or wrong. The social instinct, to be in a collective of like organisms, is natural to almost every mammal. When wolves hunt in packs, they are more effective killers. When humans band together to form societies and civilizations, the fruit of their labor increases. When zebras feed and mate in packs, all of their stripes form a natural defense, by disallowing predators from knowing where one zebra starts and another ends. The social instinct has given each organism a strong advantage in survival. And, when organisms survive, they can reproduce, and more organisms like themselves, with the same emotions and mental faculties, will be produced.
Let us not forget the importance of the mating instinct. The sexual arrousal caused by flirting or foreplay plays a significant role in the mating act. The orgasm itself and the sexual drive to achieve are important to every creature. It seems that in every group of thoughtful organisms, there is not competition for the right to reproduce, some how or some way. Often, it is the male competing for the female, but this is not the only case. In some cases, there is polygamy, and in others, there is polyandry. Every rule of behavior that we can think of for other organisms will always have exceptions to it. The underlying fact that sex plays an important role in the mental faculties of conscious organisms is important to my thesis. The mind is full of complexities and faculties that make it conscious. All of these emotions, these feelings, play a strong sense in the conscious organism.
Now that I have covered a great deal on the complexities of conscious organisms, one might be curious as to why I brought up this subject in the discussion of spirits. First of all, all of the components of the mind that I mentioned above -- desire, fear, social instinct, sex -- all of these components have a reason for existence. By this, I mean that they all exist because of the natural and perpetual struggle that goes on in the natural world. Without desire or fear or sexual impulses, an organism would not reproduce, and therefore, no other organisms with that mentality would be created, except by chance of reversion, which is very unlikely. My question is this: why is it that spirits and souls are endowed with these psychological aspects?
In all of the stories I have read of the gods, I have uncovered all of these impulses. I have encountered the sexual urge of the gods of Greece and Rome. I have discovered the ability to desire and feel accomplishment or disappointment in the gods and spirits of Animist cultures. It seems that there is no god, excepting the god of Deism, that has no interest in being involved with the people who believe in him. The Christians believe their god will save them. The Hindus believe their god will reincarnate them. The Jews believe that their god has smashed societies and cultures for the tiniest of reasons. Every religion remains identical in this fact.
Okay, so, we have spirits, souls, and gods, many of them endowed with human mentality. I am quite curious, though. Why is it that no playwright in ancient Greece ever described one of the gods as rubbing his belly and hungry? Why have I seen no spirits that get hungry? Some cultures feed their spirits, but that's even more absurd. They leave only enough food for a few days or a weeks. And why leave any food at all? Will the spirits decompose and go to the state of the after-afterlife? The sexual urge that seems so prevalent in so many religions, from the god of Christianity violating a virgin meant to be married to the Greek gods that committed such fornication on a regular basis -- just why does the sexual urge prevail? Of what use is it? Are the gods going to mate and then produce spiritual offspring?
What seems a thousand times more odd is that the gods are lacking those parts that make sexual activity useful, for procreation or recreation. The penis and the vagina, these two parts that are responsible for producing the pleasure of sex, are non-existent on ghosts. If a human loses such a part, it is impossible to engage in sexual activity. And, it seems that these ghosts have lost all their bodies. Yet, the urge to have sex is prevalent, while their sex organs are not prevalent. One may argue with me, "But the gods and ghosts have physical bodies that they can use!" If this is true, then it shouldn't be even slightly difficult to get evidence of god. Whenever pressed for evidence, the religionist usually claims, "But they are noncorporal entities -- they are not physical, they are spiritual." No thoughtful spiritualist will claim their god is actually physical, because in doing so, they have opened the doors to dispelling their beliefs in a heartbeat.
The need to eat is as absurd as the desire to have sex for the gods. Other things, such as the social instinct and any desire at all, seem to also be quite absurd. Why animals and other conscious organisms are equipped with desires and the social instinct is easy to understand. With regard to the social instinct, it has helped organisms to survive against the natural elements, or predators, or aided in obtaining their prey. When organisms had a social instinct, they were more effective at survival, and that means they were more effective at reproducing. When organisms had no social instinct, they died rather quickly -- not able to reproduce something like themselves, leaving the world destitute of such types of species. (And while there may be exceptions to this rule of the social instinct, the previous description is how Evolution works: those unfit, do not survive.) Why would the gods ever be needing of the social instinct? Why ever should the gods band together with other gods? In all honesty, I am bankrupt of any answer. The gods cannot die, they cannot suffer afflictions caused by natural disasters, they cannot be wounded. Everything that makes the social instinct desirable and useful is nonexistent with the gods. Banding together does nothing for them. One might argue "It cures loneliness," but loneliness may in fact just be that instinct to band together unsatisfied.
Then there is the idea of desire. In all my studying of literature, I must say that the mythology of Greece, Egypt, and the entire Fertile Crescent is full of gods with more desires and wants than any sane man. Since it seems very easy to believe that the gods are simply an image of mankind, exaggerrated in many aspects, so it seems that these gods are endowed with many supernatural wants, needs, impulses, desires. Sometimes the drowning of an entire civilization in blood is not enough to quell the heart of the least dominant deity. I am also curious here... Why is it that the gods have been endowed with this ability of desiring? To what use is it really, when one is a god? It has no use. For, if god, or the gods, are capable of doing anything, then they would not desire, but simply have. I can see the use of the desire ability in organisms and animals on our own planet. When there is hunger, or sexual lust, or gaining security in society, all of these desires push and motivate the organism to do what is necessary to live and to reproduce. And, once reproduction has occured, the cycle can happen all over again. When an animal is not fit enough to reproduce, or cannot live to that stage, then the genes that cursed it to a sexless life will not be found again, exception in the rare instances of reversion perhaps.
Many of the Freethinkers and philosophes of earlier years, and even our own day, have attacked the idea of religion. God created man in his own image was a questioned idea, and we reversed it: man created god in his own image. This would seem to be the more credulous case of the matter. We find gods in each civilization, taking the race and species of its people. This has varied in some cases, where gods take on the forms of reptiles, mammals, and birds. However, there is one thing in the nature of gods, spirits, and souls that seems to be consistent in every religion we investigate: they have wants, desires, lust, hunger, and needs. Where every human being -- no, where every living creature is the same, in having a consciousness, we find that same consciousness in a rather inplausible place: in a god, or a soul, or a spirit. It is clearly understood, then, that these gods and spirits are based on human ideas, that they come from the minds of men, that they spread by our mouths. And, it must also be clearly understood, that the gods are nothing more than an imperfect creation by the hands of man.
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