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Dial 1-800/AIDSNYC Every Monday and Wednesday morning, promptly at 10 a.m., I leave behind my daily life and turn to volunteering as an AIDS Hotline counselor at New York City’s GMHC [Gay Men’s Health Crisis], the nation’s largest social service agency for AIDS. For the next four hours, my co-volunteers and I sit in front of a bank of constantly-ringing telephones, talking to men, women, and teens who call in from across the nation with urgent questions about AIDS, the ravaging disease that has left 13.9 million people dead worldwide. After almost 20 years, a whole generation, families are still facing the heartache of tending the sick, while scientists continue to be confounded by this stubborn, ravaging virus. Although the federal government currently spends$4 billion per year on AIDS research, and $15 billion worldwide, there is no cure in sight for the viral infection and no vaccine available. Small wonder that the GMHC AIDS Hotline, the nation’s first, is flooded with more than 40,000 calls each year. Listening to callers 8 hours each week, I often think the Hotline is actually a direct link to the soul of callers--an anonymous forum that allows each to reveal secrets and fears that they might otherwise never discuss with anyone. A Morning in May This is the way it began: “Good morning, GMHC AIDS Hotline, can I help you?” “Yes...I have a question...[hesitantly] My son...he’s 21...and he just found out...he’s HIV-positive [voice breaking] I’m.....alone, divorced. And I need some help...someone to talk to...” “Of course....happy to talk to you...it sounds like this has been devastating for you....” “It’s terrible. He told me two nights ago....he’s...he’s so young....I don’t want him to die. He’s my only child....why did this have to happen?” [crying] Her son, she explains, had sometimes neglected using condoms, convinced he wouldn’t contract HIV infection from his female partners. “How could he be so stupid?” she now asks angrily. “Why didn’t he know how to protect himself? I don’t understand. What am I going to do?” We talk for 35 minutes, and by the end of the conversation, I notice I’m barely breathing. The distraught woman’s anguish is palpable. Her situation is every mother’s worst nightmare.The life of her child is in jeopardy and she feels helpless and afraid. I can’t imagine anything worse. During the call, I do my best to employ the GMHC Hotline protocol of “active listening,” which involves using silence, empathy and gentle probing with open-ended questions. I’m also having my own emotional reaction to the panic in her voice, and I’m worried about whether I’m doing enough. Toward the end of the clal, when she exclaims: “I don’t want my baby to die,” my heart plummets: “I know....I understand that, but there is hope,” I tell her. I find myself on the verge of tears. The Bad News This mother’s story is too common. According to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Ga., 40,000 Americans (half of them under 25) are newly infected with the AIDS virus each year. Unprotected sex and intravenous drug use remain the principal modes of transmission. “Teenagers,” notes AIDS activist Elizabeth Taylor, “are being very hard hit.” She refers to the three million adolescents who contract a sexually-transmitted disease annually. “Heterosexual teenage football players who are healthy and drink milk can get it too!” says the 71-year-old actress, who has singlehandedly raised $150 million for AIDS research. “But teens are very ignorant and feel invincible. They believe there’s an invisible shield protecting them from the virus, when it’s actually aimed right at them.” Taylor believes in addressing the problem head-on: “Tell your teenage son: ‘Maybe a condom doesn’t feel as good, but if it saves your life, it’s better than being six feet under.’ Intelligence must replace random sex.” Although a new generation of AIDS-fighting medications is prolonging the lives of thousands, nearly half of the 900,000 people infected with HIV in the U.S. cannot afford these drugs. Since the virus was discovered in l981, 410,800 Americans have died from AIDS-related complications, and the disease has left 13.9 million dead worldwide. Who Calls a Hotline? Not long ago I took a call from a 15-year-old boy living in a small town who said he feels guilty about his sexual attraction to other boys and is scared to discuss this with his parents. I ask him if there’s a school counselor or relative he might talk to, but he says he’s too afraid to confide in anyone. Being a teenager is hard enough, I thought, without the pressure of keeping this kind of secret. I felt angry and saddened that this child can’t comfortably discuss his feelings with his own parents. I encourage him to call the Gay Community Center Youth Program in a nearby city. In the meantime, I assured him that he could call our Hotline anytime, that we’d be there for him. This call was typical of the many we get from teenagers,whispering from their parents’ homes, confiding their blossoming sexual feelings and concerns. Our Hotline also receives calls from married men who phone from their offices, worried about extramarital sexual encounters; gay men suffering side effects from medications; mothers caring for a sick child or grieving for one lost to AIDS; even health care professionals themselves confused and requiring burnout support. One particular morning, I’m struck by the number of single women who turn to our hotline for help. At 10:15 a.m. a distraught young woman calls, explaining that she had been dating someone “very charismatic,” after a two- year period of sexual abstinence. “At first we used condoms and I was taking the pill to avoid pregnancy,” she says. But after her partner assured her he was HIV-negative, the couple began having unprotected sex. A few months into the relationship, she recounts, his behavior became “unpredictable,” until he finally admitted he was sleeping with other women and was addicted to heroin. Now she has to withstand the “terror” of waiting 3 months before getting an HIV antibody test. To help her cope, I give her the names of three terapists in her area. The call lasts 43 minutes. At 11:15 a.m. I take a call from a woman who is breathing heavily. She says that four months earlier she’d had a brief affair with a limousine driver, “not out of passion, but because I felt lonely. This was so totally unlike me,” she continues. “I come from a traditional Orthodox Jewish family...” Although they used condoms, and she has since tested negative for HIV, she feels deeply ashamed, and has stopped seeing him. And because she has both a persistent vaginal yeast infection and a rash on her neck, she’s convinced she must be infected by HIV. Although rashes, high fever, swollen lymph glands, heavy night sweats, sore throat, or other flu-like symptoms may indicate HIV, they can just as easily accompany the common cold or flu, or other type of infection. I encourage her to seek medical help and counseling, but the calls ends on a down note. “I must have it [AIDS],” she moans. I’m exasperated because it doesn’t sound that way to me, yet I can’t get through to her. The call lasts 22 minutes. It’s 11.38 a.m. when a well-spoken woman, who says she’s an attorney, calls from her office, asking for the names of anonymous testing sites. At first very businesslike, she calmly takes down all the information. I ask her why she’s considering a test. Total silence. Then she begins to cry: “I....I can’t talk....I’m sorry...you see, I have swollen lymph glands....[crying]....And my doctor wants to rule out HIV...I feel overwhelmed...” Then, abruptly: “Where can I send a donation?” She thanks me and hurries off the phone after just 3 minutes. These were one-time callers, but, as in any epidemic, an element of panic prevails, and our hotline also attracts an army of “chronic” or repeat callers who are intensely fearful no matter how benign their risk, many revealing continued misconceptions and paranoia about a disease that can be effectively prevented. We do our best to help them, but often they’re impervious to counseling. Most poignant are calls we get from AIDS patients, phoning from their hospital beds, attempting to navigate the exhausting labyrinth of insurance and health care matters. One man, in hospice care, said he craved companionship and missed the “good old days” when he was handsome and healthy. That call was a tough one for me as just the day before a close friend of mine, Joe, who had battled HIV for 16 years, had finally succumbed. Although at the end Joe was a mere skeleton, he was nonetheless at peace. “I’ve done what I wanted to,” he told me on our last visit. An avid gardener, he insisted on a final trip to his country house to see his garden one last time. For a moment the caller’s reality and the memory of my deceased friend blurred in my mind and I was overcome. Time for a break. Face to Face One of the most and unique services GMHC offers is called “A-Team Counseling,” a one-time, in-person session that’s free and anonymous. Recently, I was on an A-Team counselling a 26-year-old HIV-infected mother from the Midwest. She had traveled to Manhattan by bus to find her estranged boyfriend, who, she recounted tearfully, had kidnapped her 7-year- old son. Disheveled, painfully thin, the woman was a disturbing sight. She’s learned that the two had already returned home where the boyfriend was, and the child put in his grandmother’s custory. custody of his grandmother. Meanwhile she’d run out of money for the return trip, been refused a loan by her family, lost her ID, gone hungry and spent two nights on the street. Fortunately, this woman was registered at a local AIDS organization in her town. I telephoned her caseworker and persuaded him to buy her a one-way Greyhound bus ticket for $115.00. I also gave her subway tokens, a basket of food, juice and coffee. Smiling shyly, she thanked me for caring. Shaking hands good-bye with this woman was a bittersweet farewell. What will happen to her? I wondered will her health deteriorate or improve? Will she gain control of her life and be able to provide for her son? I’ll never know. One thing I do know: She’d appeared with the sorrow of a difficult life in her eyes, but when she left, she was elated at the thought of being reunited with her child. It seems that with faith and a helping hand, almost anything is possible. * * * * * 10 BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AIDS AND HIV (This list would probably be most effective when presented in a vertical chart, the misconception on the left, the correct answer on the right.) 1)The AIDS virus can be transmitted through saliva, sweat, tears, urine or feces; also through deep kissing. 1) HIV can ONLY be transmitted through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk--and can also be transmitted from a mother to her child before birth, during birth, or while breast feeding. The exchange of saliva through kissing is no-risk, unless the saliva has blood in it and both you and your partner are bleeding in the mouth simultaneously. 2) HIV may also be transmitted through casual contact with an infected person. 2) You can’t get infected from toilet seats, phones or water fountains. The virus can’t be transmitted in the air through sneezing or coughing. You can’t get HIV from sharing utensils or food or from touching, or hugging. HIV dies after being exposed to the air. Therefore, touching dried blood on a shaving blade, a toothbrush or a bathroom counter top is no risk. In any case, unbroken skin is impermeable, like a rubber raincoat, and cannot absorb the virus whether it’s alive or dead. Blood transfusions and medical procedures in the U.S. are safe. Giving blood is completely risk-free. The chance of getting HIV from dentists or other health care providers is too low even to measure.You can’t get it from mosquitoes or other insect or animal bites. 3) Oral sex is just as risky as vaginal or anal intercourse. 3) Although not 100% risk-free, oral sex is considered a low-risk activity,except if: you have bleeding gums, recent dental work, open sores such as a herpes lesion, any cut, blister, or burn in the mouth, or if you’ve just brushed or flossed your teeth. Also, oral sex with an infected woman is riskier if she is having her period, since menstrual blood can contain HIV. Overall, latex barriers, (such as condoms or dental dams) used during oral sex reduce the transmission of not just HIV, but other sexual transmitted diseases. 4) Animal skin, latex and polyurethane condoms are all equally effective in preventing HIV infection and you can use ANY lubrication on the condom desired. 4)Only latex or polyurethane condoms may be used, as HIV can pass through an animal skin condom. With latex condoms, only water-based lubricants--like K-Y jelly or H-R jelly--may be used. No lubricants with oil, alcohol, or grease are safe.Petroleum jelly,Vaseline, Crisco, mineral oil, baby oil, massage oil, butter and most hand creams can weaken the condom and cause it to split. However, with polyurethane condoms, petroleum-based lubricants can be used. 5) Women have to rely on men using condoms during intercourse to protect themselves against HIV. 5) Women may employ the “female condom,” a plastic sheath that can be inserted in their vaginas and used for protection against HIV. It can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, has rings at both ends to hold it in place and can be lubricated with oil-based lubricants that stay wet longer. In addition, women can carry conventional condoms for their male partners’ use. 6) If a woman is HIV-positive, her offspring will automatically be born infected with HIV. 6) With no medical treatment taken, about 25% of HIV-positive women will give birth to infants who are also infected. However, the use of anti-HIV medications has resulted in a significant decrease of mother-to-child transmission of HIV in utero and during delivery to less than 5%. (NYT 10/19/ 99]. 7) AIDS is fundamentally a gay disease contracted by white males. 7) Recent data compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that young gay Hispanic and African-American men and heterosexual women are the fastest growing segment of the population being infected with HIV. Women now account for 43% of all HIV infected people over age 15. [NYT 11/24/98] African-American and Hispanic women account for more than 76% of AIDS cases among women in the U.S. 8) Heterosexual men are not really at risk for contracting HIV, even if they don’t use condoms. 8) The inside opening of the penis is composed of highly-absorbent, sponge- like mucous membrane tissues, which can provide a route for HIV-infected vaginal secretions or blood to enter the bloodstream. Proper condom use protects men from infection. 9) The AIDS epidemic is largely over because new AIDS medications like protease inhibitors and others have turned AIDS into a chronic, not a terminal disease. 9) In the U.S., AIDS is the fifth leading cause of death for people 25-44 years old. Roughly half of all those infected with HIV in the U.S. are not receiving any medications or medical care. AIDS now kills more people worldwide than any other infection, including malaria and tuberculosis.[NYT 11/24/98] In 1998 alone, 2.5 million people died of AIDS worldwide. 13.9 million people have died since the virus was discovered in 1981. 10) If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV through unprotected sex, you can take an HIV antibody test 2 weeks later and get an accurate result. 10) The standard “window” or waiting period remains a full 3 months. However, because the widely-used HIV antibody tests (The ELISA and Western Blot) have become so sensitive, about 95% of people will procure an accurate result 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure to the virus. * * * * [Note:The information stated above was reviewed for medical accuracy by Dr. Todd J. Yancey, an infectious disease specialist practicing in New York City and affiliated with New York Presbyterian Hospital, NY, Cornell Campus.] THE CHILD LIFE PROGRAM “Mommy takes a lot of medicine and Mommy’s really tired sometimes and she can’t take you to the park as much as she used to. It’s not that I don’t love you...and that I don’t want to...but Uncle Jack’s going to take you to the park today.” --A mother living with AIDS, a client at GMHC, talking to her 6-year- old son. In New York City alone, 28,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS since the epidemic began [NYT 12/13/98] GMHC’s unique Child Life Program serves HIV-infected parents and their children--who may, or may not, be infected with the virus. “We help families strengthen their ability to cope, relieve the pressure of parenting with support services, and teach parents how to talk to their kids,” says Child Life Program Coordinator Alison Ferst. “Unfortunately, should a parent or child be sick enough to be facing death, we also help them walk through it with grace and dignity---as opposed to feeling alone, isolated and frightened. “We also encourage sick parents to make stable legal plans for their children who may be left behind,” adds Ferst, “and to have disclosure conversations with the children in advance, so you don’t have a child standing at her mother’s funeral, not sure where she’s going next.” When an HIV-infected Mom arrives at GMHC to have lunch, attend a support group, consult with a lawyer, or access the acupuncture clinic, she can leave her children in a spacious playroom, decorated with fanciful murals and a giant tree hand-painted by the famed children’s story writer and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, who donated his art. [see photos] The program provides: child- sitting, nutrition services, a food pantry, art and magic classes, and recreational trips--church picnics, seasonal apple-pumpkin picking, amusement parks, zoos, museums, beaches. Also: homework help sessions, holiday parties, hospital visits, summer sports and weekly support groups for HIV- positive parents and their HIV-negative children. 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Covert sexual abuse is more insidious than blatant sexual abuse. Thus, identifying it is more difficult because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The sex offender acts as if she/he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact she/he is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his/her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his/her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with him/herself because he/she feels terrible. To make matters worse, those around the child act as if nothing is wrong or there is collusion. For example: Uncle Lewie pulls his 3-year-old niece’s bathing suit bottom down and everyone laughs. Or a game of tag is played and the person who gets ‘tagged’ gets his/her bathing suit pulled down, invariably the child is the only one who gets tagged and laughed at. The child feels humiliated or shamed as everyone laughs at his/her expense. Thus, the child feels inadequate or crazy that he/she feels bad, as if she/he is the one with the problem. Adhering to the definition of Sexual Child Abuse (see definition below), sexual abuse can be as subtle and insidious as: • a person allowing the child to see pornographic pictures or movies • a man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her • a man giving a child a ‘wet’ kiss on the lips • a man putting his tongue on a child’s lips or into the mouth • anyone, who has sexual intent invading a child’s privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed • anyone ‘playfully’ pulling his/her swimsuit bottom down or pulling her panties down without implied permission or permission • bathing a child when the child is old enough to bathe him/herself • any person touching or caressing the child in ways that are sexual • a man holding a child on his lap while he has an erection • a person who stares (ogles) at or makes provocative sexual comments about the child’s body. • anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver • seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling or playing, which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person • touching a boy’s penis with sexual overtone or meaning, while changing his diaper or bathing/drying him • playing ‘red light/green light’ – If I touched you here (the person touches an erogenous area) would you say “Red light or Green Light? No matter the answer the person has transgressed a boundary and the child has experienced in-appropriate touch and therefore has been abused. • any adult asking/instructing a child to touch him/her in his/her erogenous areas • copping a feel in the child’s erogenous areas • a man touching/patting a child’s leg with sexual intent or meaning while driving • a man with sexual intent or meaning while seemingly unintentionally touching a child’s chest/or breast Women know how unnerving and icky it feels when a person ogles, touches, cops a feel or makes in-appropriate or unwanted sexual comments. Can you imagine how a child feels? While the child doesn’t know the intent or ramifications, the child feels the person’s sexual energy and doesn’t know what is transpiring, therefore a copped feel, ogling or sexual comments are more profound for a child than an adult. This list of subtle (covert) is not intended to be all inclusive—indeed, it can not be. In the 25 years I have worked with sexual child abuse survivors, I am not surprised to hear yet another insidious way a sex offender abuses a child. These covert sexual child abuse behaviors have been reported numerous times by my clients, who have all the classic aftereffects of sexual child abuse. Therefore, I am certain of the authenticity and validity of their report. I have no reason to believe an adult person would lie about such a childhood experience when there is nothing for them to gain by lying. Sexual Child Abuse Definition: “Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated." (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors). If one fully understands, accepts and uses this detailed description of sexual child abuse and incest, one is armed with information to protect children from this insidious crime that impacts 62% of girls and 31% of boys by age 18. Another little known statistic is the most frequent sex offender. Research by David Finkelhor and Diana Russell reveals 80% of children are abused by family members. 19% are abused by someone the child knows—teacher, neighbor, family friend, playmate or playmate’s sibling, playmate’s parent/ grandparent, coach, school janitor, bus driver to name the most frequent known and trusted sex offenders. Government statistics report 1% of all children, who are sexually abused are abused by strangers. guide to penis elargement online vigrx penis elargement exercise do penis enlagement pills really work free natural pnis enlargement pennis enlargement fact pnis enlargement program penis enhancement excercises penis enlargment surgery
Erectile dysfunction is not new, although decades ago not many men admitted suffering from it. Erectile dysfunction affects all ages but is also treatable despite age. There are several causes of erectile dysfunction, and as a result of this the available treatments are also different. Psychotherapy is a very powerful treatment because often, erectile dysfunction is not due to a medical condition, but is the result of emotional stress. In psychotherapy the role and the attitude of the partner is very important. Modern men take pills for everything, and erectile dysfunction is no exception. In addition to the famous Viagra (approved by the Food and Drug Administration in 1998), which was the first oral medication for erectile dysfunction, there are other popular drugs that act similarly to Viagra (Sildenafil) – for instance, Cialis (Tadalafil) and Vardenafil (Levitra) also stimulate the flow of blood to the penis, thus making it easier to get an erection when there is sexual stimulation. But before resorting to erectile dysfunction drugs, consult your doctor because there are cases (for instance a recent heart attack) when you should not even think about them. In the rare cases where the reason for erectile dysfunction is testosterone deficiency, hormone replacement therapy might be enough. Mechanical vacuum devices create a partial vacuum, which causes the blood to flow to the penis. After an erection is achieved, a special elastic band, which is attached at the base of the penis, prevents the blood from flowing back to the body. This technique delivers a long-lasting erection to make an intercourse possible. Vascular surgery and penile implants are the “heavy artillery” of erectile dysfunction treatment. In addition to being much more expensive, these methods of treatment are riskier, and are resorted to only when the other methods are not giving results. But it is likely that for lighter forms of erectile dysfunction there will be no need to go that far.